Well, I woke up in the morning
Theres frogs inside my socks
Your mama, shes a-hidin
Inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin
A Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I dont live here
Honey, do you have to ask?
Well, I go to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws
I ask whos in the fireplace
And you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in
Hes wearing a derby hat
Then you ask why I dont live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that?
Well, I asked for something to eat
Im hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog
Ive got a hole
Where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I dont live here
Honey, I gotta think youre really weird
Your grandpas cane
It turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures
That are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets
Your uncle steals
Then you ask why I dont live here
Honey, I cant believe that youre for real
Well, theres fist fights in the kitchen
Theyre enough to make me cry
The mailman comes in
Even hes gotta take a side
Even the butler
Hes got something to prove
Then you ask why I dont live here
Honey, how come you dont move