May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Were gonna have a problem here

Yall act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin?her over furniture (Ahh!)
Its the return of the...Ah, wait, no way, youre kidding,
he didnt just say what I think he did, did he?
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dres dead, hes locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)

Feminist women love Eminem
Slim Shady, Im sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who, yeah, but hes so cute though
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but cant
But its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if Im lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thats the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womans clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel dont they?
We aint nothing but mammals
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then theres no reason that a man and another man cant elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Women wave your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes

Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do so Fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me let alone stand me
But Slim, what if you win, wouldnt it be weird?
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Shit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV

Yeah, hes cute, but I think hes married to Kim, hee-hee
I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave Eminem VD
Im sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just dont give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Im like a head trip to listen to cuz Im only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of yall and I dont gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Its funny cuz at the rate Im going when Im 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when Im jacking off with Jergens
And Im jerkin?but this whole bag of Viagra isnt working

And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming I dont give a fuck!
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Cuz Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Ha ha
Guess theres a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, lets all stand up